Bella Swan: Journal, Notebook, Diary
by tvalue
Summary: I can kinda see why it could be a good idea to write in this thing. It can’t chat back, can’t argue, can’t complain. It can just take my ramblings and deal with them. Hm." - Small changes can have a big impact, can't they?
1. Chapter 1

Diary. Journal. Notebook. I don't really know what to call this. I suppose it doesn't really matter, I'm going to be writing in it whatever its name is. Stupid Charlie making me write in a stupid book.

I can't blame him really. Its not like I'm big on opening up. I don't know why that is, just not comfortable with it. Like I'm giving too much away that could be used against me maybe? I don't know, but if I can pin it on some out of control survival instinct, then why the hell not.

It would hurt his feelings if I didn't use it. I might as well.

Not quite sure what to write _about_ though. My feelings? Observations? Thought process? I think I'll start with that one.

It is snowing outside. Watching it fall from my window is quit restful. You can see it underneath the street light. Each flake glows gold , individually fluttering in the breeze. You can tell which direction the wind is blowing in, as they all start tumbling at an angle, then stop and fall straight to the ground, only to get picked back up again. Then they swirl around each other, dancing through the air. They are so pretty. And why does it only really fall at night?

Its crazy to think that they are crystallised cloud, dropping all of those thousands of feet, just to land on the ground to get trodden on. Or made into a man. Or a weapon.

It is settling, but I don't think it will be enough to get the school closed. The news said that we are expecting around 20 inches. I doubt that because that is A LOT of snow. It would be nice if there was though. Would be another day of holiday.

It's doing my head in. I like school and I love learning. I do not like tests. It takes all of the enjoyment out of it. Now I just have to worry if I am putting my opinions across in an exam board approved manner so that I can get those oh-so-sought-after marks. Which, in my opinion, is ridiculous. Takes all of the originality out of it. Plus, what is the point if you can just buy those little pocket study guide things? May as well just memorise that. Doesn't matter, once you've got the grade you just forget it all again.

Wow. I'm quite the pessimist. But I've filled up a whole page. I wish my writing was bigger, then it would be more than that. You know when you try to make your writing bigger on purpose, and it just ends up looking ridiculously stupid? No? Well of course you wouldn't - you are paper.

Oh God. Now I am talking to it. Maybe that's what Charlie's big plan with this was? I can kinda see why it _could_ be a good idea to write in this thing. It can't chat back, can't argue, can't complain. It can just take my ramblings and deal with it. Hm.

Doesn't sound too bad when I put it that way. Maybe it will help me sort things out? If I write it all down, then I can just look back over it and think it though?

That man may be onto something.

It's not too bad to look at really. Hard cover, black, matt. Won't look out of place on my shelf. He said he won't read it, and I believe him. He would be way too scared about what he could find.

And I have always liked writing, so I guess this could be a way of getting out some ideas, see what I can come up with when I'm not pushing myself? I hate it when that happens. Like when you get set Original writing or something and you are trying really hard to make the bears or mountains or whatever sound really deep and effective. Trying to get the image across to the reader without sounding like a complete moron. Then you get writers block and then you can't write the deep rubbish at all.

Ok, not I'm trying to justify it to myself. This is not the way to go.

I shall just have to see what happens really, won't I?

* * *

**Do you think this is worth carrying on with?**

**Let me know if you want more!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

I was sat at the kitchen table when I heard the news. Cup of coffee in my hand, ear pressed dangerously close to the radio, plate of toast left to grow damp from the block of butter I put on it. My hands grew clammy and my breath was held. They started reading out the list of schools. Anticipation filled me. There was a mixture of opens and closed. No correlation, it could go either way. This was it. Forks High School. My nails dug into my palms as I leant even closer to the speaker..

"Open"

I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead to the table. Great. I would actually have to get dressed.

It took an obscene amount of effort to get my back to make my neck move. I think it was warning me that it would be a bad idea to go to school. I should have listened. I finally got myself sat upright and my hand moved automatically to slap the off switch on the radio. I couldn't bear to hear about the other schools being shut. Why couldn't I have gone there?

I downed my coffee and grabbed my soggy toast and trudged up the stairs to find something to wear. I moaned to my hamster the entire time.

Yes, book of paper. I have a pet hamster. Ok, I'll admit, it's not the most socially acceptable animals to have when you are eighteen, but they are cute and easy to deal with. Not much mess, cheap, easy to care for. Spends most of his day asleep or in his wheel. Genius. I wish my life was that simple. His name is Roger. I don't believe in giving animals stupid names like _Fluffy_ or _Spike_. It's degrading. You wouldn't call your child that, would you?

Unless you are mega famous. Then you can practically get whatever you want. No kid would dare kick your ass in the playground. Your bodyguard will take care of that. Or a law suit. Whichever costs more.

I put on some black jeans, three pairs of socks, a long sleeve stripy top, black cardigan, scarf, gloves, massive pea coat. Layers are the route to follow if its in the minus outside. If I have to go to school on a day when I potentially might not have, then I sure as hell am not going to make the day worse for myself braving the cold.

If you hadn't noticed, dear notebook, I am recounting my day to you. Aren't you lucky.

Saying laters to Roger, I grabbed my keys and braved the outdoors. It was so. Damn. Cold. Charlie, being the considerate father that he is, had nicely put chains on my tyres. I made a mental note to thank him when I got home. They saved my life so any times that short journey, I gave up on counting.

I pulled up in my normal parking spot and cut the engine. My truck made a horrid spluttering noise, like it did every day, and I stumbled out of the cab, like I did every time. I would have to get some of those little fold steps you get on caravans. My legs just didn't co-operate this early in the morning.

I stomped over to Alice, who had also just got out of her car. We exchanged grumpy glances and crossed out arms over our chests. This was not going to be a good day.

We waited in the foyer for Rosalie. I don't know why we bothered. She wouldn't be in until second period, third more likely, considering the weather, but its polite I guess. Plus, what else are you meant to do with 15 minutes in the morning?

It's stupid. They want us in 15 minutes before first lesson, but don't register us? What is the point?

Maybe we should make like Jasper and Emmett in the trees behind the science block whilst they "Irish up their mornings". Put them together and they are the definition of "Moron". I like them both apart, don't get me wrong, they're nice guys, but they do that stupid Out-do-the-other-Alpha-male crap too often for my liking. Do they not realise how stupid it makes them?

Of course they don't. They are wasted by 8 am.

So me and the little one spent the first bit of our morning shifting our weight, grunting about the temperature, how the school needs to get heating and if Jessica and Lauren are actually for real.

Who the hell is dumb enough to go barelegged when its icy? Not only is the air frigging freezing, so is the snow that the guys think is hilarious to throw. Silly girls. There is such a thing as bad attention, and you just got a hell of a lot of it.

The bell went and I stumbled off to English. At least it wasn't Biology. I wouldn't have been able to put up with the sexist remarks this early in the morning without either crying or booting someone in the face.

Seriously, what was I thinking? I had to pick 3 subjects. It's not hard. So I pick English - which is good. I like it, I enjoy it, I'm good at it. Art History - Not too bad, pretty easy, get a good grade. And Biology. What? Do I want to make life harder for myself? I'm not that good at it, and its nearly as bad as physics for Guy/Girl ratio. The other girl dropped out first week. I'm in a sea of raging hormones for a third of my timetable. Sweet. Did I mention by myself?

Though if I'm completely honest, it hasn't worked out too badly. You see, dear notebook, I am very competitive. Mike, the ass sat opposite me, sneered on the first day, "Sir, do you think a little _girl_ can keep up with us? Don't worry, if you get stuck, we could always help you out."

Yeah, Mikes real witty.

Though I have made it my personal mission to kick every single one of them to the metaphorical curb. It means reading ahead and doing my work properly, but its not like there is anyone in there I can talk to. And there isn't really any drama in there to distract me. Their banter isn't very clever, but it is irritating, and there is only really so much of it I can take before I snap. I think they get kicks out of getting me angry.

But thankfully I didn't have to endure it until after lunch. Hooray - and I would have ingested enough caffeine to feel somewhat human.

When I strolled into the English room though, I felt a change in the atmosphere. An odd sense of hope and excitement. This concerned me. We had just come back from the holidays, we could have had an extra day off, and it was unnaturally early on a Monday morning.

Something was up.

I got my copy of _Wuthering Heights_ out of my bag, my notebook and pen, then sat back and listened.

You can learn so much from just observing. Its brilliant.

Before Mrs. Rown arrived, I had discovered that there was a new boy, and apparently, he was rather attractive. And rich.

No wonder why they were so interested. Anything that's new is considered attractive, especially compared to the stock we have breeding here, but the rich thing - that's a USP if I ever saw one. He'll be beating them back with bats by the end of the day.

They settled down when we started discussing the imagery. Turns out I'm the only one that finds it interesting, so I ended up having a debate with Rown about whether Heathcliff personality is reflected in the moors. I think it's more his emotions than personality, but she was having none of it. It was quite nice, I missed these arguments a bit over Christmas. It also got my brain working, so I was pretty coherent by the time the bell went.

I swung by the cafeteria and got a Styrofoam cup of what could have been coffee and just headed on straight to the art room. I knew Alice would be in there already, and I figured that I would just catch up with the others at lunch. I mean, I had only seen them yesterday - how much could have changed since then?

A lot apparently.

I ended up copying a Michelangelo sketch in charcoal whilst Alice recounted the story about her grandmother and the roast dinner. As much as I love that girl, she just does not know when to stop! I've had some pretty deep talks and a hell of a lot of fun with her, but she doesn't like silence. Makes her uneasy. So she fills it.

I on the other hand, see nothing wrong with a bit of quiet. It's nice, and you don't have to worry about thinking before you talk, as it's not necessary.

Wow. Three pages and I haven't even got to lunch yet. Best get to it.

Lunch is usually a sordid affair. Today was no different. The dusting of snow that had fallen last night was melting, much to my dismay. Melted snow and cold weather meant ice. I did not appreciate ice. And by the look on her face, neither does Alice.

Sharing looks of disgust, we left the art room, her arm wrapped tightly around mine, taking careful, tentative steps out onto the sparkling concrete.

Snow is only really worth it when it falls in epic blizzard like quantities. Otherwise it's just lethal rain. Better than hail stones, but worse than a regular downpour.

Somehow, through no fault of our own, we arrived in the safe warmth of the cafeteria without giving ourselves mortal injuries. I was quite pleased. Emmett and Jasper were already sat in our usual seats. Our school has a nasty policy of no food outside of the hall. It doesn't stop anyone, but we all kinda congregate there anyway, especially when its cold and you can't go out on the field.

Emmett waved when he saw us, then laughed when he saw our faces.

"Naw, it's not that bad! Is it Jazz? PE was interesting anyways. Tyler knocked himself out on the ground. Blood all down his front." He seemed too glad about this.

"And this makes you happy because…." I gestured with my hands, an annoying habit I couldn't seem to get rid of. He knew it did my head in, so copied my movements when he spoke next.

"It was hilarious! You can't write comedy like that. He just kinda tangled his feet and face planted the floor. Coach had to carry him to the nurse." He turned and high-fived Jasper - the hand that wasn't wrapped around Alice's waist.

It was then I decided to see if I could hunt down some decent food. I couldn't, so I settled on chips and mayonnaise. Can't really go wrong, nothing to poison. Unlike the suspicious chicken wraps. So not going there.

I wandered back to the table, and was pleasantly surprised to see Rosalie sat in her usual seat next to Emmett. Why they don't just get together, I have no idea. Makes sense, they practically are, and the whole school knows better than to try to get either of them. They are too beautiful and smart for their own good.

Well Rosalie is anyway. Emmett is just real muscley and good at sport.

Anyway, he was absentmindedly playing with her hair whilst she looked like she was going to fall asleep. I threw the lid off of my water bottle at her.

"Not get much sleep last night, Rose?" She opened one perfectly made up eye to see who was talking to her, then shut it again.

"No."

"Whys that?"

"Stupid new neighbours moving in. Who the hell gets stuff delivered at one in the morning?" She tucked her head further into Emmett's side, something which he seemed quite pleased about, judging by the grin he was wearing.

I just shrugged and tried my best to ignore the epic make out session that was going on next to me. I swear they wait until I was around to do that.

So with Alice and Jasper oblivious to the world around them, Rosalie asleep and Emmett looking like Angels were singing, I ate my chips in silence, praying that the bell would ring soon.

Sometimes I hate the fact that all of my friends are paired off. I mean, I'm glad that they are happy and all that, I just… I don't know. I just feel like I just get pushed to the sideline sometimes. If I go round Alice's when Jazz is over, then I may as well be on my own, and if he isn't there, he's all I hear about. Same goes for Rose. She complains that Emmett's all over her all the time, and complains when he leaves off.

I know I'm overreacting, but sometimes it gets a bit lonely.

So I resorted to the comforts of my Ipod to get me through the rest of lunch. Vampire Weekend made everything alright again. They're just so darn jolly.

The rest of the hour passed without a word being spoken to me, but I felt oddly calm as I headed to Biology.

I was the first one in there, as usual. I sat at my desk in the corner and got out my stuff. It was dark this end of the room. The genius architect didn't seem to think that it would need a window or a light. But it does have its own sink and set of plugs, which is useful when doing practicals, as it meant that I don't have to squash up on someone else's table.

I've been told so many times that I have personal space issues. Maybe I wasn't held enough as a child. Probably not.

I opened my notepad and started drawing, trying not to pay too much attention to my fellow students. I would be lying if I said that I liked any of them.

A few minutes later, Mr. Banner came in with a pile of sheets in his arms and a timer balanced on top. I shrugged out of my jacket wondering what the hell we would need a timer for. We had a perfectly good clock on the wall. Maybe Mike still hadn't got a grips on telling the time yet.

"Afternoon class! I hope you all had a nice Christmas and all that!" Bless him. Banner was always so chipper, with his chemical equation tie and hiking boots. Classic science teacher.

He was interrupted from his enthusiastic introduction on biological rhythms by a gentle rapping on the door. Instead of going to open it like a normal person, Banner looked around the room frowning and counting. When he got to me, he must have noticed my raised eyebrow, because he flushed a little and stumbled over to grab the handle.

"Ah. I presume you are Edward? Yes? Come right in. Pick a seat and get settled."

The only two spare seats were next to me or Mike, either way he would be near me. I wasn't sure how to feel about this. It could go one of two ways. He would either make like Mike and do my head in for the foreseeable future, or I could end up having a sort of friend in this God forsaken subject.

As my eyes lifted to watch him walk in, as the rest of the class did, it clicked that this was the new guy that I heard the girls chatting about in English. And holy hell they were not wrong.

His hair was the darker side of red with lots of layers, making it all tousled and windswept. It fell across his forehead, drawing attention to his eyes. I have never seen such beautiful eyes. They were green - not the dull green you normally get, you know, when it's kinda mixed with brown? I'm talking bright, frigging green, like grass. His features were all perfectly proportioned and he was tall; had about a head on Mr. Banner. On top of all the attractive points he had going on, he dressed well too. He was wearing a navy chunky knit cardigan over a grey jersey t-shirt and jeans. I took a sneak look at his footwear - white tennis shoes that looked like they had actually been worn to play tennis. (They had grass stains on.)

Seriously, I am going to stop. I just read back over this and man I sound like such a fan girl. I am also aware that I am writing about him in the past tense. I am pretty sure that his hair is still red and his eyes are still green, and will be for a long time coming.

Anyway, he didn't look too happy about having to sit over this end of the room. The thought flashed my mind that maybe he was against girls doing science, but he chose the seat next to mine instead of Mikes. Huh.

I shifted a little on my stool as he sat down, and I risked a peek at him. His eyes were narrowed at Mike for some reason. I glanced over and saw that Newton was doing the same back. Ooooh drama. Mike was the first to speak.

"Cullen." Green eyes narrowed.

"Newton." They continued their stare match, and I can honestly say I have no idea what Banner was saying, I couldn't stop watching.

For some reason, I felt the need to delve.

"What's going on?" I couldn't help it. I am too curious for my own good. And for reasons unbeknown to me, I whispered.

Both sets of eyes, one green, one watery blue snapped to meet mine. I felt a slight flush creep onto my cheeks, but I refused to let it lie. I wanted to know what happened to make them all tense at each other.

"What are you on about woman?" Mike doesn't have the demeanour to make comments like that inoffensive. It just came out rude.

"Don't you _woman_ me Mike. I just wanted to know what the deal is with the surnames and evil eyes." I shrugged and tried to appear uninterested, but I don't think I fooled either of them. Green eyes next to me chuckled a little and smirked.

"Newton doesn't seem to be too good with first impressions, that's all." His voice was all velvety and smooth. No joke, I could listen to it all day. I'm glad it wasn't high-pitched or whiney, it wouldn't have suited the exterior at all.

"Why, what did he do?" Mike was scowling, but I didn't really care. Its not like we are best friends or anything.

"This morning in music-"

"You do _music_?!" I couldn't help but interrupt, as my head snapped round to see his face colour. Mike is the least musical person in the world. Of course he got all defensive.

"Yeah. I play guitar." I laughed and I wasn't even sorry about it. The thought just made me crack up. Green eyes seemed to find it amusing too, judging by his grin.

"Miss Swan, I wasn't aware that circadian rhythms were funny. Could you give me some examples of temporal rhythms?" I sighed - I know for a fact that he hadn't mentioned any yet. I don't know whether he does it to push me or to try to catch me out. All I know is that he isn't going to make me slip up, no way.

"Daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal, annual-"

"Yes, thank you. Mike, can you give me an example of a monthly rhythm? Just to check you were paying attention."

"Uhh…"

"Menstrual cycle?" Banner frowned at me and smiled at the same time. It makes me happy when he does that - it's like he was all mixed up.

"Thank you Bella. Mike, you need to sort yourself out." He turned back to the board, ignoring the horror struck faces at the mention of periods.

"I'm Edward, by the way." Green eyes was smiling at me, looking all expectant.

"Oh, I'm Isabella, but I prefer Bella."

"Any particular reason why you don't like your full name?"

"No, not really. Bella was easier to say when I was little, so that's what I got used to being called. It still takes me a while to notice people are talking to me when they call me Isabella." I was aware that I was still talking, but I couldn't make my voice box stop. I think it was to do with the fact that those eyes were looking straight at me. And that he smelt deliciously like leather and mint.

Was there anything about this boy that wasn't attractive?

"That's okay then, I prefer Isabella." His mouth turned up a little at the corner. I tried not to look at it.

"As long as it's not Izzy, you can call me whatever the hell you like." No word of a lie, notebook, I punched the last kid that did in the face.

"I'll keep that in mind." The little lift in the corner turned into a full grown wonky smile. All I could think was _I didn't think teeth could get that white_.

Thankfully, Banner chose that moment to hand out a test to "See how much we already knew". I had pretty much read the entire topic over the holidays, so it wasn't difficult. We marked them after, and to my surprise, Green eyes got 100% as well. Banner looked confused and mumbled. "Good job you two are sat together then."

The second best was 28%.

The second the bell went, I got a smile then Green eyes was out the door. Odd.

I met Alice by my truck and took her home. Our conversation consisted mainly of how much she hates school and the ass that she has as a dance partner. He dropped her so she kicked him in the shins. The little one is feisty, I'll give her that.

When I got home, I put the oven on, ready for some burgers. After a day like that, I think I deserve large amounts of processed beef, don't you agree?

And now, dear pad of paper, I am sat writing all of this rubbish onto your faded grey lines. Aren't you pleased?

I am now going to get the mince meat out of the fridge. Don't sound so surprised! Making burgers from scratch? And eighteen you say?

I know. I was born middle aged and get older every day.

**

* * *

You know what to do, review!  
**

**Wow. This is like, 10 pages. This is crazy. If I keep writing this much each day, I'm going to need a new pad by valentines day.**


	3. Chapter 3

Oh notebook, what a day I have had!

Granted, I woke up to the annoying beeping of my alarm clock at seven, like I do every morning, but that is where the similarities end.

My first clue presented itself straight away. I had carelessly left my curtains open last night in my extreme state of exhaustion, but to my surprise, the sky was not the inky black it usually is that early. It was a dark shade of orange. Strange. I pinned it down to pre-caffeine hallucinations and made my way down the stairs, where I met my second clue.

By the time I got to the kitchen, my teeth were chattering and I bet my lips were blue. It is never normally this cold, even in the middle of winter. Our house is well insulated, thank you very much. Brushing the sleep away from my eyes, clue number three was staring me in the face.

"Dad, why do you have a big spade?" Charlie was holding the biggest metal shovel I've ever seen, in his thick padded police-man jacket. He was holding it like a weapon and he looked like he was going to attack someone. What the hell was that about?

"Oh, you're up. I've got to dig the snow off of the garage door - I can't get it to open. Something tells me that you won't be going into school today, Bells." I just blinked at him for a bit. This might be the best news I have heard, in my life, ever.

I half skipped, half dragged myself over to the window, and yup, he was right. Everything was completely covered. I'd say, judging by Mrs Connors plant pots, that we had about 5 inches of the stuff. Flicking the kettle on with a smile, the first time ever this early, I went to phone Alice. I jumped about a centimetre when it rang just as I was about to pick it up. Seemed as if she had beat me to it.

"SNOW SNOW SNOW OH MY GOD ITS SNOWED AND WE DON'T HAVE SCHOOL THIS COULD BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE BELLA YOU HAVE TO GET DRESSED WE ARE ALL GOING TO ROSALIES ITS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN…" I was so tempted to just hang it up, but I was feeling kind this morning, so I just held it away from my ear until she remembered that conversations needed two people.

"What time shall I get there for?"

"Dunno, about half eight? We're all up, so might as well start early!" I grumbled in response and put the phone down. At least it meant that I could take my time getting ready. It only takes about 15 minutes to walk to Rosalie's, despite her house being on the other side of town. Or is Forks a village? Pad of paper, remind me to look it up?

After my gloriously long shower, I put on my grey jeans and massive black cable knit jumper. That thing is amazing. If God wore knitwear, it would be like that. I blow dried my hair any old how. It was just going to get massive again as soon as it got wet anyway. Two normal pairs and some grey hiking socks later, I was ready to go. Scarf and gloves were on, coat was by the door. Ten past eight - heck, I might even be early.

I was early, even though I was the last person there. Emmett was already making the base of a snowman, that was going to be about 10 foot tall, judging by the size of it.

"Hey Bella, ice to see you!" He laughed at his joke, before pushing the globe around a bit more. Rose through a little snowball at him.

"Shut it Em." She rolled her eyes. "He's being cracking God awful snow jokes all morning. You eaten? There's some bacon left if you want some." She pointed to the door when I shook my head. I went in and saw Alice and Jasper eating sandwiches in the kitchen.

"Alright guys. How good is this day going to be?" I made a bacon sandwich and joined them.

"So good Bella. Well, it can't exactly be bad can it? As long as you don't slip and break anything, we will be fine." Alice laughed. Personally, I don't find Jasper funny. At all.

"Shut up, I only did that once!"

"And we are never going to let you live it down." He shrugged and held his hand out for Alice, who stuffed the last of her sandwich into her mouth before she took it. Ladylike.

I finished mine, then joined them outside.

"Hey, Bella, Why didn't the icicle go to the party? Because he had snow body to go with!" I threw a snowball at him.

"Oh, it is on." He scooped a load into his arms before charging at me. I tried to run, but couldn't go fast enough he caught up quickly and dropped the pile onto my head.

"Ohmygodthatssocold!" I did that hunching thing you do when you have something cold on your back, before leaping up onto his back and getting a good grip around his neck. Unable to shake me off, he span round too fast for his feet to keep up with and he fell face first into a particularly big mound of snow. We laughed for about ten minutes after that, before we got started on the snowman.

We carried on rolling the massive ball that Emmett had started earlier, well, until it got too heavy to roll anymore. Then we got started on the body bit, laughing at the weird creaking noises that the pressure was causing on the snow. We had to get Em to lift it again, not even Jazz could get it up to his waist. It was now taller than both Myself and Alice, and just a tiny bit bigger than Rose and Jasper. We made the little head and I had to get on Emmett's shoulders to put it on properly. They then handed me up a carrot some stones a hat and a scarf to put on it.

I was quite proud, I'm not going to lie. The thing was an absolute beast, and was taller than all of us and the neighbours' small snow people. A few little kids came over offering a pipe to put in its mouth, which was real sweet. By the time we had complimented ourselves on a job well done, we were freezing cold and hungry. We all piled into Rosalie's to get some lunch.

A lot of banter and some toast later, we all sat in the living room, arguing which film to watch. I was sat on the chair opposite the window, and saw a massive van pull up outside.

"Hey Rose, you haven't ordered anything have you?" The bell rang and she just looked confused.

"No, I don't think so. It might be for opposite - this is what happened Sunday night. You would think that they would look at the door numbers wouldn't you?" She stomped to the hall to investigate. The guys continued their argument about the DVD choice and Alice was somewhere - the loo I think,

So I had no one to share my shock with.

Just as Rose opened the door, a figure wearing black jeans and a leather jacket walked in front of the window. This wouldn't be worthy of noting, aside from the fact that he had dark red hair. Green eyes was the only other person I've seen with hair that colour. What the hell was he doing outside Rosalie's house?

I shifted so I could see the front path better. Rosalie was complaining to the delivery man, who was looking rather red-faced, when Edward walked to them and started talking. There was a lot of gestures and running of hands through hair on his part. The jacket explained the leathery smell yesterday. Yum.

Rose shifted her weight to her right foot. That was a bad sign right there. It meant she was flirting. No man has a hope when she actually tries. Most of them fall when she doesn't anyway, let's face it. I still haven't figured out why it bothered me.

Anyway, after a little while, Edward and the delivery man went to the van to get whatever it was out of the back, Rosalie came back in, rubbing her hands together.

"God it's cold out there."

"We know, we were out in it this morning." Jasper interjected, waving "The Holiday" in her direction.

"Oh hell no are we watching that." Was all Emmett had to say on the matter.

After scowling in their direction, Rose came and sat on the arm of my chair. "If I knew that's what the new neighbour looked like, I wouldn't have complained about being kept up the other night. That is one fine looking man."

Emmett's head snapped round and his eyes narrowed slightly. "Who's this?"

"New family in the house opposite have a tasty son. That plays piano by the looks of it…"

I looked back out of the window and sure enough, Edward was helping the delivery man push a huge trolley with an upright piano on it through the snow.

"Isn't that the new kid?" Alice watched out of the window.

"Yeah his name is Edward and he sits next to me in biology." I said, as nonchalantly as I could. Rosalie reacted quickly.

"What! Why didn't you tell me!"

"Well I'm sorry! What am I meant to say. "Oh yeah, Rose, there's this new kid, I don't know anything about him, but he's got a pretty face and thought it would be a good idea to pick biology?" There is no way you would have cared."

"Wait, didn't he kick Newton to the curb when he said something nasty to Angela yesterday in music, or was that someone else?" Jasper swivelled on the wooden flooring and crossed his legs, clearly enjoying this new topic of conversation. Alice sat next to him and grabbed his hand.

"Really? That was nice of him. Mike's a douche and Ange is such a sweetheart. Hang-on, he does music?" I chuckled at her disbelief.

"Yeah, that was my reaction too. Guitar apparently. Bet I know how good he is…"

"Well, if its anything like his humour, it will be deplorable." Emmett seemed to have shaken off Rose's comment. Poor guy.

"Wow, that's a big word for you Em. Sure you know what it means?" Jasper joked and received a cushion in the face. "Bella, you still having your lessons?"

"Yeah, but only once a fortnight for technique." I haven't mentionedthat yet have I? I play the violin. Quite well if I say so myself.

We spent the rest of the day watching films and eating rubbish. It was nice.

I left at about five so that I could get home in time to cook Charlie dinner. Sometimes it's a pain to have a culinary redundant father. After saying lengthy goodbyes, I stepped out into the cold and braced myself for the walk. I was just about to put my headphones in when I heard someone call my name.

"Isabella?" I turned round to see Edward on the other side of the road. He had some carrier bags in his hands, so he must have been sent to the Chinese for food. I doubted even they were brave enough to deliver out in this.

"Oh, hey..." I was so close to saying Green Eyes. That would have been so embarrassing.

"I didn't know you lived over here." There's a lot you don't know about me, though, to be fair.

"Nah, I was round Rosalie's." And the thought of me having enough money to live this side of town is hilarious. Though we aren't poor, we don't have a lot to flaunt. It's a good job I don't have expensive tastes really.

"The blonde? No offence or anything, but she's a bit… overwhelming? Is that the right word?" I chuckled, I couldn't help myself.

"Naw, she's real lovely underneath it all." He grinned that sideways grin and I got really paranoid all of a sudden.

"You got far to go?" He was making conversation with _me_. This never happens.

"No, not really, but then again Forks isn't exactly spacious. 'Bout ten minutes. Hopefully I won't slip and fall to my death." I pointed a toe. And yes, I was aware I was rambling again. I blushed, and have never been more grateful for the night-time.

"You'd best not. I won't be pleased if you leave me with Newton in Biology tomorrow. I'll kill him or myself."

"Ha. Getting rid of Newton, you would be doing us all a favour!" He chuckled. Ah it was a beautiful sound. "Well I'd best be going - don't want to keep you out in the cold. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you later." With a smile and a half wave, he turned and carried on walking. I put my headphones in and turned up Kasabian. Vlad the Impaler makes for awesome walking music notebook, remember that next time you are out for a stroll.

I didn't notice the chill as I was walking, I was too busy replaying the conversation in my head, wishing I wasn't such a moron.

**

* * *

You know what to do, review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Yup, it rained last night, so all of the snow was gone. And I slept through my alarm. This makes for a good morning, does it not?

NO. And anyone who thinks it does needs to have a stern talking to.

I got one of the only-for-emergencies instant coffee travel cup things from the cupboard and put water in it just as I was running through the door, not having time for anything else. I would choose caffeine over food any day of the week.

I got into Biology just as the bell rang. I practically collapsed on my desk just as Green eyes walked in.

"Bad morning?" I'm ashamed of it, but I grunted in reply. He just laughed.

"You're not supposed to have food or drink in the science lab Bella." I don't think I've ever hated Mike more than I did in that moment, with his smarmy, whiney voice and unfounded ego trip. I was still in bed half an hour ago and I hadn't even finished one cup of coffee. What did I do to deserve it, really?

"God Newton, it's not even nine. At least let her drink her coffee before you start, yeah?" His velvety chocolate voice drifted from beside me, and I sighed a little. How very teen girl of me. At least Mike stopped talking after that.

I lifted my head from the table just enough to meet his eye and mumble my thanks.

"No problem." I did not have the energy to resist the sideways smile, so I let my forehead meet my arm.

I had finished my cup by the time Banner walked in, and was feeling human enough to do the work. I was glad I picked the dark corner - it was less harsh on tired eyes. I read the top of the sheet we had been given, and I didn't even try to suppress the groan. It was the same stuff that was on the test last lesson. Banner just gave me an apologetic pat then carried on his way, bringing misery to unsuspecting teenagers.

"At least you don't have to think about the answers. We're in a better boat than Newton at least." I looked over and saw that he was busy flicking through the index of the biggest text-book I've ever seen.

"He won't find anything in it; that's a physics book." Overhearing my comment, Mike surreptitiously glanced at the purple front cover, before blushing and picking up the green one instead. Serves you right for ruining my morning, ass.

The gentle chuckle of Green eyes made me relax a little.

"So you made it home without killing yourself then?" I still wasn't sure why he wanted to talk to me, but I went along with it.

"Luckily. Overslept this morning, so I just postponed the bad luck I think."

"Ah, that explains it." He leant on his elbow and started chewing the end of his pen.

"Explains what?" The boy really wasn't helping my paranoia issues.

"The toothpaste on your top." He tipped the pen to point at the white patch on my front. Eurgh.

"Frigging hell." I licked my finger and started picking at the dried Aquafresh, thanking the lord it wasn't Colgate. The blue and red stripes are harder to get off of clothing. Green eyes was chuckling at me again. "Shut up."

I then thought it would be a good idea to start doing the work. I finished in ten minutes. That left a lot of time, so I took out my copy of _1984_ and got as comfy as I could on the wooden stool.

"Did you know that was going to be called "The last man in Europe"?" It appeared that Edward had also finished the work and had nothing to do.

"I did not, and I'm really glad he had a change of heart. That title sucks."

"Yeah. Anthony Burgess thought that he settled on _1984_ because of the inversion of the year that he wrote it, and the idea has kinda stuck, but I reckon he named it after his wife's poem "End of the century, 1984." To say I was shocked is an understatement. He was chewing the end of his pen again, and did not seem to be looking at anything. Plus I was a bit unsure as to what had spurred on his little title analysis speech.

"Why would you think that? That poem is about her school. And she was already dead when he started writing it." He turned to me, his eyes flashing with interest. It seemed as if he hadn't thought that I would question his conclusion, let alone know about Eileen O'Shaughnessy. Don't get me started on literature my friend. He must have seen something in my expression, because he did his sideways smile and faced me completely, ready to start a debate.

"Have you ever tried comparing the two? They have a lot of similarities, and if you think about it, she hadn't long passed before he started writing it anyway, so maybe she might have helped the idea along? I'm just speculating. But anyway, both are visions about the future, both anticipate a police state and mind control, both suggest that it is inevitable. And he did say that she helped him to write _Animal Farm_." He shrugged as if he had just read aloud a shopping list.

"Do you do English?" His eyebrows furrowed and he tipped his head so that his hair was out of his eyes. Oh, those _eyes_.

"No, why?"

"You just seem to have thought this through. Not even my English teacher has read that poem, and here you are, sprouting out this theory," I waved my hands around a bit, "That I hadn't thought of, or come across before." He properly smiled, and I swear I was nearly blinded by those teeth. I bet he uses Pearl Drops or something. Maybe they're veneers - no way are they natural.

"I just find it interesting, that's all. And what do you mean, "That I hadn't thought of?" Does that mean you agree with me?" His tone was playful, but it was still all smooth. I could just melt into a pool of it.

"Nah, I play by the inversion theory. I reckon that it represents the communist uprisings and the beginning of The Cold War. Not as original as yours, obviously, but the evidence makes sense." I was irritated at myself for how apologetic I sounded. He opened his hand in a gesture for me to continue, all the while looking at me like whatever came out of my mouth next were the most important words ever spoken. I flushed. I wasn't used to this much attention being given to my opinions, they were usually brushed under the carpet, even by Mrs. Rown.

"Well, the flipping of the digits could just represent the change in the government. Democracy and totalitarian communism are opposites, which is how America and Britain saw Russia - completely backwards. There's a lot of war lexis in the novel anyway - rations, the constantly being accounted for, the regimented timing, even the war between Oceania and Eastasia is basically just an allegory of The Cold War. Anyway, Orwell said himself that he was influenced by all of the wars that he had seen, and he thought that eventually, war would destroy the world as he knew it. That's why life and everything is so different in the story to outside of it. So 1984 being a flip of 1948 just shows that he thought that society would change round, and freedom would become restriction? I don't think that's the right word. I doubt I've been very clear, I find it easier to write this sort of stuff down…"

Yep, notebook, I rambled about very little for a long time. I risked a glance at Edward, and he seemed to be genuinely thinking through my answer, which was odd. It's not like it was the most coherent argument I've ever put forward.

"It's a legitimate thought. I can see why you would think that. I guess I just prefer to think that people are a bigger influence than events are." He smiled at me, but I don't think that it reached all the way to his eyes. It was a little sad.

That's when the bell went. I've never seen anyone move that fast. One minute he was sat next to me on his stool, the next the was shutting the door behind him. Seems to me that Green eyes has something that he is trying to hide. I decided to let it go, considering that I had just had the best Biology lesson ever thanks to him, and packed my stuff away carefully.

I stopped to pick up a sandwich and then headed over to the art room to meet Alice. I had Art history middle periods on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, which was convenient and easy to remember.

I was surprised to see Alice looking so contradictory. She was sat on her stool, legs crossed under her, arms crossed over her chest with a massive smile on her face.

"Hey Little one, what's up?"

"Don't what's up me, what's up with you?"

"What?" I don't get her though process most of the time.

"You and new kid. You were talking to him out in the cold yesterday for about five minutes." She narrowed her eyes at me, as if trying to lure me out. But I'm being completely honest when I say that I didn't understand what she was getting at.

"I spoke to you for three hours in the cold yesterday. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing I suppose." Nothing my ass. "Rosalie's pulling out the big guns today."

"What do you mean? And why, I thought she was happy with Em?"

"Obviously not, the poor guy's crushed. But you know Rose, once she's got her sights set…"

"God, what's she got planned?" That girl does nothing by halves, I am telling you. And it hardly ever backfires.

"You know, short dress, long boots, big hair, huge eyes. The kids not going to stand a chance. She's putting plan A into force in Maths. We get to hear how it went at lunch." Poor Green eyes. I felt a bit bad for him, except my brain chose that precise moment to remind me that he had called Rose "Overwhelming." And he hadn't said it as a compliment.

I tucked that nugget away for future reference and started my inspiration board for Da Vinci.

"Oh, hang on Alice, I've got orchestra at lunch, so you'll have to let me know later."

"I can't believe you go to that thing. Isn't it basically you and a load of year nines?"

"Yeah, pretty much, but Mr Freedman would kill me or himself if I pulled out now." Which is one hundred percent true. I'm being modest when I say I carry that group.

The rest of the lesson dragged on slowly, but I had done all that I had planned to, so I wouldn't have anything to catch up on tonight. The bell went, and I received a little hug off of Alice in goodbye. I walked out to my car and got my violin out of the boot, thankful that I had left it in there from my lesson on Sunday. The cold hadn't done anything to the tuning, so everything was just dandy.

Walking along the corridor to get to the music room, I was confused when I heard the distinct plunking of a piano. Adam had left the group before Christmas, so we didn't have an accompanying piano any more, unless he had decided to come back…

Nope. Wasn't him. I walked through the door and stopped in my tracks when I saw Green eyes sat at the stool. He gave me a confused little wave when he saw me come in, and I returned the greeting with an awkward smile. What the hell was he doing here?

I set my bag on the table and undid the case of my violin, putting rosin on by bow as quickly as I could, as I was the last one there. I sat on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me and waited for Mr. Freedman to arrive.

Fiddling with the hem of my jeans, I listened to the two year nines that were sat on the chairs next to me. Shock horror, they were discussing the newest member of the group.

"Who is _that_?"

"I dunno, I think his name is Edward?"

"Weird name. Doesn't matter though, he's so hot!"

" I know right, way better than Adam."

As they continued talking, I had to suppress the urge to whack them across the shins with my bow and yell "He's five years older than you, assholes." That would have been inappropriate.

"Sorry I'm late guys! And oh, Edward, you came!" Freedman finally waltzed in with a stack of sheet music in his hand and glasses askew. I glanced over at Green eyes. He seemed a little uncomfortable, his cheeks were slightly flushed and he was rubbing his palms on his thighs. Odd. Then I remembered that he did music and Freedman probably blackmailed him into joining or something. That man is horribly good at making you do what he wants.

"Right guys, come get one of these. We're going to be trying something different today, hope you all don't mind." He Didn't really care if we minded or not, he was just giving us the illusion of choice.

I just sat there until he handed me my sheet. "Bella, I'm going to start pushing onto harder stuff now, I doubt you will have any complaints." He smiled and I was grateful. I got bored real quick of the Grade two stuff that some were struggling on. I looked down at the title and had to double take.

Muse - United States of Eurasia (+ Collateral Damage)

I looked back up at him in disbelief. "You serious sir?" He chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah. I bought the album sheet music over Christmas and figured, since we now have a decent pianist, we may as well give it a go." I grinned, partly over his optimism, and partly because I was genuinely pleased that we were going to be playing this. I love the album - well, I love anything that Muse does to be quite honest.

I glanced through it. It didn't seem to be too bad, just really fast when it got going. I plucked through a few parts that I thought could cause problems, but they were fine. I smiled and looked up to see Edward watching me. He looked curious, but when he saw that I had noticed him, he wiggled his fingers at me to go over and join him. I picked up my stuff, and did just that.

"Can I ask you a question?" He spoke all velvety and quiet. I shrugged.

"Only if I get to ask you one in return." Green eyes grinned that sideways smile.

"Fair enough. I just want to know why you sit on the floor?" His brow furrowed and he flicked his hair out of his eyes. I didn't speak for a moment, I was too busy watching the light glint off of it. I would have to find out what shampoo he used.

"Because I kept getting shouted at for walking around."

"What's wrong with a chair? They all seem to be managing fine." He pointed at the small congregation of students, who were either moaning that the piece was too hard or giving it a go.

"I dunno, I guess my legs are too long or something. Every time I go to play when I'm sat on one of those, my posture goes all crooked and It's uncomfortable and distracting." He shook his head and chuckled a little bit. Ah notebook, it's such a delightful sound.

"Fair enough, I suppose. Go on then, what do you want to ask?"

"How the hell did Freedman persuade you into joining this godforsaken group?" He full out laughed then. Man, the chuckle was a fire alarm compared to that.

"He nicely reminded me that 'cos I was starting late, it would be harder for him to "Gauge my ability" and this was the easiest way for him to see. He's talking a load of rubbish, I know, but I figured its only once a week, and if it makes him happy…"

"It does make me happy, I assure you." Freedman leant against the piano and looked at me with curious eyes. "Bella, do you think that you are ready for a run through?" He seemed encouraged by my nod. "Good. Edward, Bella will go first, then I would like you to play it, then together if that's alright. I have a feeling that we may have bitten off more than the others can chew. I'll go get your cardboard." He scooted off to the store room.

"Cardboard?"

"Yeah, the stands don't go low enough for me to see when I'm sat down, and I'd rather not walk around if I'm sight-reading, so we made a little sheet music prop out of a box."

"Crafty."

After everything was set up, Sir counted me in, not bothering to warn the others. They would all stop practising when I started anyway. I sighed when the first few bars went fine. Matt Bellamy, you freaking genius. Biting my lip in concentration as the tempo increased, I played my little socks off.

For those few minutes, there was no one else, nothing else other than me, my violin and the printed paper in front of me. I think that's why I enjoy it so much - it's an escape. Like reading, you can just get away from everything else that's bothering you, causing you stress. I feel that I can finally be, well, me.

I finished the final bar and let out a long exhale. I had enjoyed myself. I stood back up to the spattering of applause and went to sit on the table by the piano. I wanted to watch Green eyes play. He smiled at me with his eyebrows raised, shaking his head. I thought it was an odd reaction at the time, but I think he might have just been surprised. Then Sir counted him in and I forgot just about everything.

Watching his fingers ghost the keys was unbelievable. He has so much skill, I don't know how we got so lucky to get him here in Forks. His hands were almost fluid as they quickly danced, hopping from note to note. I could see from his posture when he put pressure on the pedal, but he didn't stomp on it like Adam did, he was more gentle. I couldn't believe how quickly his fingers moved, quivering over the black keys, hitting it so fast it sounded almost like one continual note. As he began to slow for the Collateral Damage part of the track, he raised his head and caught my eye.

They were piercing and so… _alive_. They were full of joy, excitement, and something else. I couldn't look away. He seemed to realise this, as his mouth slowly turned up into a breathtaking smile. His whole face lit up - it was the epitome of happiness.

Like a deer in headlights I was stuck.

I felt my cheeks redden as I stared, but I couldn't take my eyes away from the magnificent boy sat in front of me. The little part in the back of my head was screaming at me to move, cough, do something, but I couldn't. I was stuck in the green and didn't want to get out.

Then he blinked and set me free.

It was in that moment, little note pad, that I realised that I may have developed a thing for this beautiful, intelligent, mysterious boy.

* * *

**You know what to do, review!**


End file.
